I’ve never been afraid of heights, until…
I had arrived at the Badlands NP in the late afternoon. Such a curious landscape and every corner turned revealed a different scene! I drove the loop to get my bearings for the next morning. If there is an opportunity to catch a sunrise, I’ll do whatever I need to arrive in time to watch the full glory.
I scoped out all the vistas and notated my favorite for the next morning. As I watched the final rays descend behind the mountains of the Badlands, I headed back to the campground just outside of the NP.
Next morning, I arose in the darkness before dawn. Being surrounded by other folks in tents, Piper and I stealthily repacked the car to head out. As quietly as we could, we creeped to the entrance. Once on the road, we climbed back into the Badlands towards the vista I’d picked out the day before. Fog filled the valleys and slowly the morning sun peeked above the horizon as a giant lit orb in the mist. Beautiful in its own right, but not what I was hoping for. I climbed back into the car and Piper and I went exploring, chasing the light as the fog began to dissipate.
Because of the incredible diverse terrain, the early morning light played in all the crevices and around mounds, hid behind peaks and surprised us with rays of light unexpectantly illuminating magnificent rock sculptures.
From the day before, I recalled one particular road decent as it twisted through two mountains forming a canyon. There was a small piece of land that jutted out into the middle of the two walls. I wanted to see the dances of light as the sun slowly rose over the highest pinnacle and slid down the barren hillsides, awakening the valley below.
I found the spot and stopped by the side of the road. Piper waited for me in the car.
I hadn’t worn proper attire for hiking so thankfully it was an easy walk. If I could just make it out to the end of the jutted piece of rock, the sights would be amazing! The sun was just beginning to gently nudge aside the morning shadows on the canyon walls.
I am not afraid of heights. Never have been. Wasn’t on this day either until…
I was wearing my crocks. A little loose fitting and maybe not the best footwear for what I was going to attempt to do.
At this time of the morning, few were out and about. I could see Piper in the front seat watching my every move.
I walked confidently up to the beginning of the little bit of a walk to the end. The jutted out ledge was the shape of a figure 8. The skinnier part in the middle was about 2 feet wide, 3 feet long. Just a few walking steps. The top of the 8, the place I was trying to get to, maybe 4-5’ wide. I focused on the end point of my route and began to carefully walk. I didn’t look down over the edges because, well, I didn’t want to know.
Everything was going fine! The brilliance filling the canyon was going to make the views spectacular!
I was almost across the skinny part of the path when my crock caught the edge of a small stone.
I stumbled.
Thankfully, my next off-kilter step was onto the larger, flatter, end of the walkway.
I stood for a moment to catch my breath and still my beating heart. I was fine and quickly I was distracted by the very reason I made this precarious venture.
The sunrise over the canyon walls was all I had hoped for!!!! Variations in rock reflected back lights of amber and earthy orange. The warmth of new morning scootched its way into corners and crevasses of valley boulders. I was captivated by the mystical magic of nature’s wonder. My trek out for this incredible view did not disappoint. I took pictures, desperately trying to capture the splendor of this truly awesome moment. I waved to Piper, still sitting in the front seat of the car.
It wasn’t until I turned and faced the land bridge to go back that I became paralyzed with fear.
A stumble. A small misstep. The reliving of that one act alone produced an overwhelming, chest crushing fear and I couldn’t move. There were no people around. There was no cell service.
I was on my own.
I began to breathe deeply and remind myself I was not afraid of heights. It was only a few steps and soon I’d be back on my way to Piper. The mishap was a stumble, not a trip or fall. Nothing had happened and nothing would happen now. Of course, I prayed. In fact, this whole discourse was a prayer!
I had to go. The longer I waited, the more in my head I became. Stop thinking. Take a step.
JUST DO IT SCARED!!!
“Don’t hustle, be casual. One step at a time. You are not afraid of heights. You’re almost there. Piper is waiting for you. You are not afraid of heights.”
And with my heart pounding out of my chest, I stepped off the jutted piece of land onto solid mountain side. No stumble, no stopping. I did it. I did it scared and made it back to solid ground. The fear never left but my courage pushed me to walk through my fear.
Now safely on this side, I glanced at the edges of the little land bridge out to the point. Straight down. Rocks at the bottom….
I was never so happy to be seated in my car, thanking Piper for her exuberance upon my arrival.
A few days afterwards, looking back over this incident, I was reminded. We all stumble at one time or another. What caused us to stumble isn’t the issue so much, it’s how we recover from our stumble! Were you paralyzed, unable to move? Or did you face whatever consequences came from your stumble and arrive on the other side victoriously?
What did I learn? Don’t let fear keep me from experiencing some of life’s incredible views! And be sure to wear better shoes 😉
